www.conversationswithevonne.com | Lifestyle & Entertainment Blog, Podcast, Mental Health and Entrepreneurship Platform
I am a published book author, entrepreneur and psychology professional with exceptional skills in writing (advertisement, blog setup, book formatting, book publishing consulting and APA college papers readiness, etc), and small businesses consulting.
If you are looking for book publishing, personal branding, business or life consulting you have visited the appropriate place. I look forward to working with you and you reading my blogs.
So now, I’m at the WKND hang suite in Downtown Memphis, enjoying times with friends is the greatest days of them all. My home girl and I decided to go out and enjoy the Memphis scene. Since this spot is not a club in which we are fun of but not too much, we hang here all the time. “Girl, it is some nice looking men in here,” she said. She scopes the room and from the corner of my eye I see this tall guy walk forward. He grabs my hand and instantly I blush. “Wassup,” he said. It’s funny how my whole world turned when this guy looked at me. But after a few seconds of looking at his adoring smile, white teeth and smooth dark skin I knew he was up to no good. “You look beautiful as always,” he smirked. Now I’m not the “go for anything minded woman,” but boy did I go for him.
See in my lifetime I’ve had my time with “players.” But my definition of player is completely different from Memphis. A real player gets what he wants out of a woman and plays all sorts of games. Yet knowing I was a laid back female and not into the business of playing those games I decided to be the ultimate “player,” myself. “You look good too,” I said to him smiling. After a few more moments of talking we hugged and he went on about his night. See the problem with women is we spark players, we give them what they want without them evening working or asking for it. That’s what makes him a player, not talking to multiple women, that’s dating. But helping him complete his motives with the goals of “getting in your jeans,” or buying him something even time, that’s when he becomes a player, and yes sis he played you. This is what they mean by, “don’t hate the player hate the game.” Just don’t get the game ran on you. Girl, don’t be afraid of a player, he’s still a man, like every other man with feelings, treat him as such. Yet, it doesn’t make him any less of a man because he ran game. We just have to be careful. But let’s not forget he did tell me, “I can have anything I want, any woman I want, whenever I want.” Which is true, I believe him. And I can too. I’m not going to stop you from enjoying anything you want, at this mere moment, it just won’t be me. You are still extremely attractive though *sends text message* “lets be friends.” Lol I swear y’all, this is dating in Memphis.
Today is the the day the Lord has made let us rejoice in it, and we shall rejoice in that everyday of our lives. Today I want you to know that God is your strength, look in the mirror and say, “God is my strength, and no one else.” We have to allow ourselves to let go and let God have his way. His plan is greater than ours anyhow. I heard a man singing this morning in church, “let go and let God,” and it touch my heart extremely. I had tears in the corners of my eyes because this is the truth. As soon as I stop worrying, about how my story ends, I let go and I let God…let God have his way. I hope this helps someone, reduce your heart and receive a blessing from God and be blessed.
So there’s this friend I have, and she is one of the sweetest people I know in Memphis. Very fun to hang around, very laid back and chilled, men love her but they will date her under one condition, if she decides to have relations with them. Talk about hard for her. With so many men in Memphis and her being one of the attractive ones, minus the likes, it makes it even harder. I think it’s the level of men we choose.
See yes, in Memphis there’s levels to relationships. It’s all about the brackets. Now a days they aren’t choosing any woman or man to be with, it’s a city girl or city boy vibe, it’s either you got it or you don’t. Honestly, in a way, that’s sexually, social and financially. They don’t care if you are more insane to walk outside cold feet with rain, if you have those three above you are in the loop. Now oh I didn’t give you her name, sorry this information is confidential. But she did allow me to write this blog about her so be thankful for that. I once asked her how was it being celibate in a city full of attractive men. The thing is she still hangs out with friends, she still actually talk to men, but she’s never alone with one. Now before hand, she was not this woman. She was sexually active and had every man she wanted, how ever she wanted if you know what I mean.
“I just decided to go for God’s peace,” she said. “These men can’t do a thing for me unmarried, but give me a baby and a massive headache.” Which she is right. She told me about this time one of her closest friends slept with her man and she caught them. I mean, this girl was at her home every night complimenting how good of a woman she was to “her man,” and went behind her back to sleep with him. She even taught the girl how to cook. That is insane, I said to myself then, here you are my friend I’m teaching you all the slopes of being a good woman and you go sleep with my man. Talk about being hurt. So now I don’t know if she is celibate because of past pains and things of that nature, or is it just to be closer to Godliness. I mean she is a constant church goer and works diligently in her community. “You know,” she said, “after catching her with him I wanted to kill her, but that’s far against my religion.” Lol, we know sis, we know.
Ok so again welcome to the “In Between Blog,” be amazed and hold your seats because this is going to be interesting. So we have a 29 year old female, perfectly in her prime. She is one of the most gorgeous in Memphis, yet men truly don’t treat her like it. Sometimes I don’t get men, how dare you ridicule something so amazing right before your eyes. Now this is not the ordinary girl, I don’t want to get too deep into her finances but sis got it made. I once asked her why deal with men of such annoyance, she said she is just a “real one,” and decided not to let it go too soon. Yet, I feel her. Here in Memphis you don’t want to categorized as a “thot,” and one who does not care about your reputation of appearance, but unfortunately that’s who they date. So they crap can be quite common. This woman for sure is all about that.
Now I have very good friends, deep in their careers on the way to six figures and I just had to blog about this. She has assumed the position of loyalty for countless men, but what the heck makes them think they can come at her like that. See men are sometimes out of there way, when you have a woman who has it all of the much together and gives you loyalty how could you not settle down. This is not the typical relationship in the city, yet millennials who are typically trying to get it together.
So here we go, it’s time for me to give the the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So we were out eating one day and she told me about this guy. “He is sweet, but he needs to get it together,” she said. I lean in more to listen because knowing I’m 23 I felt I could learn a tad bit more from her. So she told me about this incident. This blew my mind. Now this young woman has bands, and a man probably would lay at her feet to be with her. Yet her spirit is so humble that she likes who she likes. Which is typically ok. So the conversation went something like this.
Her: “Girl, do you know that he came to my house the other day, and there was my best friend sitting waiting , just enjoying time with me and my other friend.”
So after hearing this of course, I lean in closer.
Her: “So I haven’t talked to him much, and he came to knock on my door, see the guy that was at my house was only my friend, that’s it, but do you know he rushed into my home after I told him not to come in, I mean I scared him a bit. It almost seemed as if my best friend was there for me, but I only did it because I’m tired of his crap, he came in the house and couldn’t even control his feelings, I told him he needs a psychiatrist.”
So wait wait, before we even go into the incident. She told me that guy basically said, they are just “dating.” So if you don’t know what “just dating means,” it means we are basically not together but I want the benefits of being with you regardless. So therefore,her friend who had a boyfriend only was there to “hang out,” but the guy she was dating went crazy. Talk about guilty. He was definitely scared she was dating someone else. Now wait a minute. How is that even cool. We put all our time and effort into you and you say “we are just dating?” But she likes this guy who rushed into her home when he saw the other man, I mean genuinely. Me being as psychology professional I almost went deeply into a psychoanalysis type interview about the man’s past. But there is not exact point in that due to so many men acting the same.
I mean, this is Memphis. It’s the city most men are typically chasing the same women. They don’t look at those who are set aside from the rest, who don’t have 19.8k likes on Instagram (in which these women bought,) and trying to chase the reality life. Lol, and this is one of the problems sis was having. Men don’t realize the lies that are right before them, it wasn’t the beauty that sis was having but the fact that men are more likely to chase the fame of the female instead of the female itself. She told me about how these guys do that. Memphis is not a small city but it is, so therefore the most “famous” social media women are praised. It doesn’t even matter if they have kids or not, or you have this high tech millennials money making job, the likes is what gets them.
Again, we have the ideal woman sitting in front of us, but men in Memphis rather chase the fake. I felt for her telling me her story but I don’t want to get too deep. But these women on social media just kept coming up. In Memphis, they want to live the fake life, not people who are really out here doing it, and because of that it’s making her love life suck. It sad because I would believe she would be one of the first. To get married, but dating in Memphis is all about I guess likes. So welcome to “Dating In the City,” or the city of Memphis where if you don’t have a like, we hate you or ignore the hype. Honestly screw those likes, I’m my city we are the real ballers, not some fake wana-bees who want to get out. But she like she said before,”be careful what we you wish for cause you just might get it.” But seriously, if you want to date or be somebody, you have to be about something. The is “Dating in Memphis,” and Kahdejah Evonne and I am checking out.
P,S I can’t wait for this summer, it’s gonna be brilliant!
Ok ok, so before I even get into the in between blog I have to introduce it. This blog is more so like a “Dating In the City” (I hate saying the word sex), the author who meets and greets people and talks excessively about their love life. Ok but no seriously.“The In Between Blog” is what I do in between time. I’m an author so in between my time and my busy day I write short stories that will leave you full of amazement, and boy “They Say That This Is A Big Rich Town.” Seriously I just come from the poorest parts. 🏙 #TheAuthor
So here I am blogging from a downtown condo on South Main Street about a semi-famous female who is having the typical love life problem. Yes this is indeed a semi-“Memphis In The City Episode,” but most importantly this is “The In Between Blog.” Here I will share my most somewhat, entertaining and demanding blog series that will of course keep my reader reading. Now don’t be amazed at how blunt this blog section may be but of course it is interesting. Besides I’m just a blogger in Memphis who knows that everything is all in your head. And who also knows everything (smiles). Lol, welcome my friends, to “The In Between Blog,” and the “Dating In Memphis,” series. I truly hope you enjoy every story that’s written.! Now…..LETS GET STARTED!
Today is the day to unapologetically be who you are without hesitation. So let’s do this exercise. This is more so like a self love piece. For starters, I want you to look in the mirror and find everything “you” like about yourself. Not what someone else sees. Even if it’s your flaws or you just being yourself in general what do you love about you. Thinking deeply about this, for it’s going to make you do a drastic 360 in the way you think. Do you know that we forget to look in the mirror and remind ourselves about us. We don’t realize that we are just vanishing and truly forgetting who we are while forming to this world. We spend so much of our time catering to others and their view yet don’t bother to look and care for self. In actuality this is very hurtful.
Today you are going to find out what it is about you that you truly adore and capitalize off that. Like before, it doesn’t matter if society doesn’t like it you are unapologetically being you. For instance, as a kid I had these huge lips and strong facial features, with big brown eyes. Not to mention I was extremely tall and frail. This made things all the more different for me because all the way to my teenage years, even some college I felt like an outcast of different species. I never unapologetically became me because I was trying to satisfy society with my looks, what I wore and how I acted. Talk about depressing, sad and dark moments, while trying to get validation from someone else. So then it happened, I got tired of trying to keep up with others and did this mirror trick for days. Like training your cognitive of course. After finding what I truly loved about myself I found more, then that conducted into a whole list of ideas and loving examples,as such, that I adored about me. Then, I understood that this here life is about me and no one else. When I truly fell in love with myself, that is when I started adding other people to my world. But remember, it’s all in your head!
“All the Glory and the honor goes to God, he cares for you more than anything else and drives you to be you for that’s who he created, he helped me find me and love her, the girl that was truly lost, herself.” -Kahdejah Evonne Stevens
Or I shall say greetings from the greatest city on earth. Here in this city you can be and become whatever you want. I like to say that Memphis is my….Atlanta. But don’t get it twisted I like to travel. So where were we? Oh yes, I think I haven’t properly introduced myself. See I’m new to this blog thing but then again, I’m not. The great part about it is it’s therapeutic and the most magnificent part about it is it’s my passion. Hello all, I am Kahdejah Evonne Stevens just a psychology professional in the city of Memphis who loves travel, food, blogging, book writing and fashion. Oh and please, don’t forget my podcast “Talks with Evonne.” Yes I’m somewhat a force to be reckoned with, but I say use all the mechanisms to my advantage.
So Really What Do You Do?
Well guys, I own an Anger Management Clinic that will eventually turn into an Outpatient and Inpatient Mental health hospital, that is when I become Doctor of Behavioral Health, Kahdejah Evonne Stevens, if God doesn’t bless me with a husband before then. The name of my mental health services is call Evonne’s Place Anger Management Clinic and Creative Wellness Studios. I have some hidden talents lol but that’s none of your concern, we will talk about that much later but now let’s focus on the ask at hand oh yeah right, psychology and mental health. Something I adore to the fullest, yes I am extremely witty, but that is indeed what most people love about me, my platform and my passion for it is what they adore.
Ok Now Let’s Get To The Fun Stuff
Lol ok, did I tell you guys that I was one heck of a socialist and blogger. I’m also a book author of four of the most amazing books which will result in 9,10,11,12 books in the near future. No seriously, lol. The book that I’m soon releasing is “30 Day Devotion: Restore, Replenish & Reclaim Your Life With God.” Yes my friends is it a Christian book that was established to explain the devotion I have for my Christian Faith, and to help others find God as well. I love God, I just really wanted you all to know that and I am DEEP in the life of being a loving Christian, living for God, following the teachings of Jesus Christ and loving all others around me while doing so. My next book that is already released is “Who I Am,” which sold out on pre-sale but will now be release as “Who I Am: Be Victorious,” a story about everything that I have been through to become the woman I am today, and boy, have I been through ALOT.
But anyway I was just kidding about the socialist I just started back. We will also talk more about that later. But let’s talk a bit about my platform. Yes that’s correct Talks with Evonne and The Author Daily Memphis. You see, all of these things are intertwined. I plan on blogging for multiple companies for all sorts of topics, of course that will be my blogging and content writing career, but Talks with Evonne is my speaking platform career. Through here of course is my famous podcast that’s has 1.3K listeners, now, eventually will have a podcast store. So cool huh, with signified coffee cups, pens, notebooks and t-shirts all for you to see!!
So Tell Us More, How Can We Follow You?
For one, you can visit me at local spots in Memphis, I love to chat! But no let’s get to a quicker way, the power of social media. Yes follow me, shout me out post a few comments I will love it! So mmm.. let’s start. My social media is quite open because I am very motivational and love to give you all these cool updates. Below is a list of my supersonic social media platforms.
Twitter: See me talk and what I’m thinking on a daily, lol @kahdejahevonne
Facebook: Ok we are going to get a little person lol, just kidding follow me @ Kahdejah Evonne Stevens
And lastly Instagram: I love this no really follow me @kahdejahe.stevens
Ok so no lol, I don’t have a Snapchat yet but hey, there’s always an instasnap! I look forward to meeting and talking to all of you look out for emails and always check back here for updates, follow my blog because this is going to get interesting oh and by the way I have some thing great and amazing coming up this summer (rubs hands together). Ok so, it was extremely nice to meet you guys my heart goes out graciously to all my followers, readers. Until next time my friends and as I say be safe, be fashionable, travel, blog about it and most importantly be blessed. Have a good evening and remember it’s all in your head! God Bless.
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” -Marilyn Monroe
So here it is, your first affirmation from the authordailymemphis. Don’t you just love this? So you come to this blog, you read it and get affirmations to allow you to think different and have a good day and you remain motivated and positive throughout life. But anyways, the keywords here was affirmation and think. The affirmation I want to give you today is,”I am in control of my mind and everything else around me. Today take charge of the situation. Don’t let it take charge of you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what’s going on and forget to find a solution.
I mean come on, nobody is perfect. We all know that our stress levels have been so high before that we forget to even think. Talk about nerve wrecking. But recently after a while, I’ve trained my cognitive to relax once my brain has gone fried. Well, not friend, but having so many thoughts that I cannot adjust to what is in front of me. Recently, I became a Certified Anger Management Specialist. Within this study in my field, Anger has been said to birth from a ton of stress. According to the Anger Management Institute “What’s Good About Anger,” it also has been established that this is at the forefront of a malfunction in your health and thinking strategies. Now, I am a very busy woman, so therefore I need all the room possible to think and be relaxed. So to add to this affirmation here are some great cognitive techniques that one can use for stress reduction.
Stress Reduction Techniques
Ok busy people pay close attention, I’m going to take your mind a roller coaster of relaxation that you have never been. Below is a list of three techniques I will advise you to use to keep track of your busy schedules, and busy day. And here they are, drum roll please…..(excessive drum rolling, lol.)
Cue words (allowing yourself cognitive to relax, anytime a negative situation comes into play or you feel overwhelmed remind yourself to calm down and everything will be ok. EX: “I got this, the day is almost over I get to relax let me just finish, relax.”)These are cue phases and cue words. They train your cognitive and it helps!
Taking a load off ( now a lot of us don’t realize what a snack and a nap can do for us when it comes to thinking, taking a load off resets your mind, then you can come back to your project later, don’t allow your mind to over bake if you know what I mean.)
And lastly, planning (ok this is very cognitive because you are giving your mind a road map, I work with children with intellectual disabilities and when they don’t know what’s going on they go haywire, that is exactly the same with us. An intellectual disability does not make you incapable or not smart, you just learn slower than most. We all operate the same and we need this, put yourself on a productive and original schedule and take control of your brain, it will eliminate all your mental crisis, helping you manage and live a successful and happy life.)
So there you have it, you have your affirmation which is completely a mental note and reminder, as well as cognitive flexibility skills to embark on and take with you. So that’s it today readers. Take heed to your brains and take care of this for it is the most powerful part of our bodies. Signing off with much pleasure and
It is exactly 1:46 a.m. It is very understandable why I blog at night, around this time my mind works wonders. The reason of this blog is to give an ounce of encouraging words to my readers.
I remember wanting to leave my city as soon as I graduated from college. The first thing that spun to my mind was that I was going to pack up and got to Dallas,TX to continue my mental health career. I told everyone, I knew for sure I had it all planned out. Then boom, it was graduation day. I packed my bags and was excited to grace that stage. I thought, ok I’m going to get a job, save my money and move right away. I cared nothing about little ole Memphis,TN it was in my mind just to get out, and this may have made me felt as if I was just as successful as any other person that moved away from home after graduation, yet this was not the case.
As I went through my phone looking for apartments I found my stay in Memphis to be quite more lasting than expected. Nothing change and I then seen myself switching from job to job. This indeed may have made me feel like a failure, but instead of speaking negatively I opened my eyes completely. Maybe, God wants me to stay in Memphis for a reason, maybe just here right now he has a plan for me. Then, I started my development. College students and young millennials, we must understand that whatever we want sometimes is in our city. We will pick up and leave and not even think to fix what’s at home or see the city for what it is.
After staying in Memphis a few more months my plan and ideas got bigger. I wanted to take Memphis by the storm. I wanted to be one of the most known authors, psychology professionals, speakers, bloggers and fashion guru in my city. Something I always wanted to do since I was a kid, all of my loves came back to me. But how just how exactly was I going to do that if I would’ve left my city. Memphis all along, was my foundation. And I made it just that, now (hearts), it’s time to network and make this dream, travel and stay a blast.
“Signing out I say, chase and follow your dreams, because no one else is going to do that for you, make Memphis or your hometown your platform and build from it, because no one loves you more than the city” -Kahdejah Evonne Stevens
Finally, we are at the first blog of the decade. First and for most Happy New Year my friends. Of course, I would love for you guys to subscribe to my podcast “Talks with Evonne.” If you have never heard my voice and some of you have not, my podcast will give you a sense of “relaxation.” I tended to find myself falling madly in love with my voice after discovering how cultural it was. Lol I guess I could say I started to like myself, yet where were we, why yes explaining what men like. Now, this has been a troubling question indeed for a lot of young gals like myself. But honestly, the matter is not that complicated as we make it. Being a psychology professional I will place here hard cold evidence to support my claims. But we have to be opened minded to the simplicity of what I am about to write. As, a writer, I have been taught and equipped to give you information that you could visualize in your head, so be prepare for something great I must say.
So What Do Men Want?
Lol. No literally lol. The same as them not knowing what we want, we are all going back and forth trying to figure how to to satisfy someone so that we can be with them. Honestly, we are doing it all wrong. If we get so caught up in being the “pick me girl,” we become unattractive.
Yes, the “pick me girl,” do you know who she is. Well, she is the women who tends to every man’s need or man need to make her self more appealing than most women. She will say thing like, “I don’t wear all the make up, it’s not even that serious,” or “yeah I love all football teams who gets their nails done every day, not me.”
If you are one who is doing this, I highly suggest you stop. Downing yourself or other women to make you seem more appealing is not attractive to any human. It’s just makes you seem as if you are the snob of the room. Honestly if you really want to know what men want or vise versa it’s not that. But wait, I was suppose to support my claims with hard cold evidence. Give me a second this may become interesting.
No seriously, what does psychology say men want?
Ok you asked for it, don’t be too ashamed because psychological studies are done based off animal science. That’s ok though I’ll try to give you information that is surely based on the scientific research of humans.
According to Psychology Today, “What Does Psychology Say Men Want,” is easy to come by. We sit and think men want us to be the ideal woman for them, they want us to be this beautiful unicorn that no one has seen, yet in actuality so many women are doing the same thing that we are all starting to look alike, a field full of unicorns. In psychology this is call “peer pressure,” or insecurities or identification issues. Toget what we want we become what we hate. A serious mental defense mechanism.
It is important to understand the likeness in men and women. We feel that we are creature from two different planets but don’t realize we are exactly alike, made in God’s imagine. There’s no difference in feelings unless they have been tampered, but being in my field I see that this can be fixed. As women we tend to push away what men really want. That is being likes and accepted as well as wanting love. Men have been taught to be conformed to this world, growing to learn what is masculine and what is not. How dare society tell them that, but it has not just affected the men, also the women. If we tell men that they cannot be vulnerable how the heck do you expect them to love you. Seriously let that soak in for a minute.
A man wants you to be yourself. To love him and not allow the world to tell you different. I understand that you may now say,” well I do love him but he isn’t showing it back.” Well now it’s time to look at how long you have been there and if you’re just looking at potential. We in this generation try to force relationships, when we need to just allow things to happen. Just be yourself, date and let the right person come to you. That is what men want. But please understand the answers are all in your head.
“To be in a relationship, you cannot display fear, fear leads to failed relationships within yourself and hatred” -Kahdejah Evonne Stevens